Prince Harry's live-streamed ADHD diagnosis was unfair to everybody - especially him.

We are in a world where trauma has become entertainment. Therapy sessions have become ticketed events. People have become objects.

When I read Prince Harry's book, I agreed with Gabor Mate that symptoms of ADHD were apparent, like not being able to concentrate at school. However, this is not the same as doing an assessment with him.

I love Gabor Mate's work, but he has done the world a disservice by diagnosing Harry with ADHD during a 60 minute chat, live-streamed to the world.

He has condensed the important process of medical assessments into throwaway comments, showcasing how easy it is to flippantly label a person with a lifelong condition, leaving them with no support.

Here's how:

👉 'Reading the book, I diagnose you with ADD.' - Gabor Mate

No one should be diagnosing anybody from a book - especially one that's been ghostwritten.

There should be a proper assessment, but Gabor Mate has set a precedent of even licensed medical professionals ignoring this. In the UK, only qualified psychiatrists or nurses can diagnose ADHD, but after assessments involving questions and possibly collecting further information such as speaking to friends and family.

The reason ADHD is a 'disorder' is because symptoms have significantly negatively impacted our lives for a long time. This might manifest differently at different times depending on the situation. Gabor Mate presumably had no idea how the symptoms were impacting Prince Harry when he spoke to him, with no prior assessment.

👉 'I see it as a normal response to normal stress... it can be healed at any age.'

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition, so it's not something to be 'healed' - it's just the way our brains are wired. Yes, to be diagnosed with it we need to have problems, and yes, these can be significantly improved with the right support, but the condition itself is not something to be fixed. It's just part of who we are: ADHD is not a mental health condition.

Gabor Mate says ADHD is a response to stress, where symptoms emerge from our environment. This has more appropriately been called 'Variable Attention Stimulus Trait' as discussed in the Reality Manifesto.

Even if this was right, then it means the stress should be healed: the environment a person is in. Not the person. By medicalising Prince Harry's 'stress response', Gabor Mate places the responsibility of this on him.

👉 'Whether you like it or not, I diagnosed you with ADD. It takes one to know one, so I share that diagnosis.'

This indicates that having ADHD is enough to spot it in others. It's not, and as a medical professional, Gabor Mate should know better that to have set this example to the world.

It does not 'take one to know one'. Our entire society's understanding of ADHD is constantly changing - adults weren't even able to be diagnosed until 2008 in the UK.

'Whether you like it or not' is also a terrible thing to say to someone you are diagnosing with a neurodevelopmental condition. Gabor Mate has shown the reality of how easy it is for medical professionals to inappropriately diagnose you with a label you don't understand, didn't ask for, don't know what to do with. Prince Harry was having a conversation with him - not an ADHD assessment.

👉 'When a kid is in a stressful environment, one way they cope with it is they scatter their attention so that they remove themselves from the stress. I think there's a lot of stress in your life. And I also think you're one of these sensitive kids.'

Prince Harry was a child when his mother died on a global stage. This is not the same as being a 'sensitive kid'. It doesn't give him ADHD. Stress does not cause ADHD, though it does have a huge correlation with trauma.

I see ADHD as a neurodevelopmental condition in this way because for those of us experiencing childhood trauma or abuse, we weren't able to feel calm enough to develop as our peers were able to. If you can't feel safe, and you're constantly in fight or flight mode, waiting for the world to end, then you cannot relax. You cannot trust others, and you cannot trust yourself. You're fighting for survival, so your executive functioning skills do not get to develop like other people's. You can't plan for next week, because you're trying to get through the next hour.

This does not mean that trauma causes ADHD: it's just one of my own personal beliefs about how it can emerge for those of us that have experienced it.

👉 'Okay. Should I accept that or should I look into it?' 'You can do what you want with it.'

Prince Harry shares a common reaction with many people diagnosed with ADHD (though usually from a proper assessment): what now?

What does that mean? Is this flippant comment enough to go down the rabbit hole of ADHD, endlessly googling it? Harry was asking whether he should 'look into it' - presumably with a proper assessment, and Gabor Mate just told him to 'do what he wants with it'.

This is pretty much a standard response from the medical world: whatever. Not our problem. We gave you the label, now you can do what you want with it. Maybe you can take medication, though you're not sure exactly what it's supposed to be doing. Maybe you can tell other people, though you've got no idea what you're meant to say.

This is why I wrote ADHD: an A to Z - because when you're diagnosed with ADHD, you're pretty much dumped and left to figure out the rest by yourself.

I think it was incredibly unfair of Gabor Mate to have used his privileged medical position to expose Prince Harry on a global stage like this.

Whether Prince Harry meets the criteria for ADHD or not, it's clear that his suffering is being continually exploited by people around him. Whether it's a book publisher profiting from exposing every detail of his life to the world, including comments that put him and his family in extreme danger, or 'therapists' seeking to diagnose him with conditions live on the internet, he doesn't deserve any of this.

It's also unfair to the millions of people around the world who are questioning whether they too, have ADHD. Whether it's something they too should 'heal'. Whether it was just because they were a 'sensitive kid'. Gabor Mate essentially did the equivalent of posting a bitesized, relatable ADHD meme on instagram and tagging Harry in it.

So, to Prince Harry, and anybody else in his position:

You can learn more about ADHD, and see what resonates with you. You can make changes where it feels right to do so. Prepare yourself for the emotional rollercoaster of looking back at your life and asking 'what if I'd known earlier?'

In true ADHD style, Harry went straight to the end: 'should I accept that?'. You'll eventually arrive at your own decision on this. ADHD is not something to be 'healed', it's simply something to be accepted, if this feels right.

The important thing to remember is that it is not your fault. ADHD does not make you 'ill'. It doesn't give you an excuse for all of the mistakes you've ever made, but it can give you some context.

Move past the label, and look at the challenges you're experiencing in your life. Learning that you think differently to most people can be extremely helpful in understanding that you need different solutions.

As I said to Metro.co.uk this week, 'Understand your strengths and work with them. There are proven strengths that accompany ADHD – of integrity, honesty and authenticity. Find environments where you can thrive, where you are celebrated and no one is forcing you into being “normal”. Reach the point of self-acceptance, then harness the brilliant bits.’

You can read ADHD: an A to Z here & join the ADHD course here.